I’m ready for life to stop being hard, because right now, I’m about tired of this uncertainty. Currently, I’m experiencing uncertainty with my parents health, uncertainty with my fertility and journey to get pregnant, and uncertainty with my school situation. Uncertainty requires faith, and my faith tank has been running dry lately.
I don’t really want to write my sad story down, because I feel like I’ve been a downer the last few posts, so instead, I’ll highlight some good things.
I cleaned out my laundry room and garage. Yep. I did it. I finally got myself off the couch and drew myself out of my pity party where I was watching far too many sad TV shows and movies and eating far too much Nutella straight from the jar. This was a big deal. Not only because I needed to physically do something, but because both spaces were frightful. I was even able to give away some high quality things on my town’s Buy Nothing page. Looking at these clean spaces and knowing my generosity maybe helped someone makes me feel good. And I need to feel good right now. Maybe I’ll just go hang out in my garage or laundry room… but probably not haha.
Look, it’s okay to feel sad. It’s okay to absorb it into your bones and rest in your darkness. But eventually, and you’ll know when, you have to step out of it, if only for a minute or an hour. Eventually you’ll step out of it more and more. Right now, I’m stepping out of it. I don’t know for how long, but for right now, I am.
Now, let’s talk books.
High hopes. I had such high hopes for my reads and quite frankly, I’m tired of wasting my time reading duds, which a lot of my reads this time were. Even the ones I wouldn’t consider duds, were still not great. I need a great books.
My first book this time was Separation Anxiety by Laura Zigman. This book seemed quirky and fun and definitely caught my interest from the first page. A woman straps her dog to her in a baby sling as a midlife crisis. Unfortunately, the narrator was highly unlikeable. Not only that, but it was written in an active voice, which was especially jarring for me. I kept waiting for the book to take off, but ultimately it was directionless. The narrator is struggling with her child growing up and her marriage is failing. But then there was irony and sarcasm, only it wasn’t actually funny, it was just the author trying too hard. 2/5.
The second miss of a book was What You Wish For by Katherine Center. You’ve seen me rave about her work. In fact, I loved her previous book How to Walk Away so much, that it was my most recent book giveaway! Imagine my surprise to jump into her newest novel and really, really dislike it. I picked it up at least three different times and just could not get into it. Eventually, I got to reading and found the writing to be lazy. Center used this shock factor to introduce one of the main characters by saying “the Duncan Carpenter” and “my Duncan Carpenter” multiple times within 5 pages. I didn’t love this book. Maybe one day I’ll pick it up and try again since I do love this author, but for now, I’ll just await her next work and hope she gets her groove back. 2/5 (which is being generous).
My third book was The Music Shop by Rachel Joyce. As a music lover, I was very excited for this book that centered around a record shop owner who knew just what song his customers needed. The cover alone is beautiful. I know, I know, don’t judge a book by its cover. This book initially reminded me of High Fidelity, but those vibes went away after a few chapters. After Ilse, the love interest, was more prominently in the picture, the book fell flat. There were a lot of words with not a lot of action. The whole idea of the record shop owner knowing what each customer needed went away quickly and the story centered around a love story that wasn’t all that thrilling. 3/5.
Next up, I listened to The Dutch House by Ann Patchett. I know I wouldn’t have continued this book if it weren’t for the magic of Tom Hanks and his peaceful voice. The book certainly told a story, but it just wasn’t one I found all that entertaining. I wanted more excitement and more going on. The book centered upon Danny and follows him from boyhood to fatherhood. Danny grows up in a beautiful stately home, to which the novel contemplates wealth and status and how quickly that can change. Moreover, this book was about the bond between two siblings, Danny and his sister Maeve. They needed each other and relied upon one and other at multiple points in their lives. This book was a purposefully slow novel that focused on theme rather than an enticing story. It was fine, but I love a juicy, un-put-down-able plot be it thriller or literary fiction. If the story is going to be more meditative and slow, then I expect stellar, poetic language to keep me engaged, which this lacked. 3/5.
My last read this month was Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia. I was mostly intrigued by this because of all of the buzz It was getting. I’m not sure I would have picked this one up on my own. This novel focuses on a young woman who goes to visit her sick cousin who had sent an alarming letter. What followed was a House on Haunted Hill vibes horror story where the author was not afraid to go there. By go there, I mean, she did not shy away from being descriptive to make the reader uncomfortable. I was completely okay with this. What I was not okay with was the slow build, however, I can respect the slow build. She Morena-Garcia spent a long time building the atmosphere and characters, but it did make me want to give up early on. 3.5/5.
So there it is folks. My very mediocre reads this go around. I’m really hoping for some 4 and 5 star reads next time! I have high hopes for Night Swim and Luster, which were some of my BOTM picks for August!
Keep calm and read on!