Waiting and Reading

Life between the binding has its ups and downs and I’d be lying if I said the last few days haven’t been more on the down side.  Fortunately, it hasn’t all been bad.  Yesterday was a fun night out with my husband and I was showered with flowers and chocolates and most importantly, love.  Valentine’s Day had previously been a dreaded holiday for me prior to meeting Jeremiah, so I don’t want to discredit an overall great night. 

What a lot of people don’t know is that my husband and I are approaching our 6th month of trying to get pregnant.  I know that some couples struggle for much longer, but it’s hard.  It’s hard each month when I get my hopes up and get negative results.  It’s hard when it feels like pretty much everyone I know is pregnant right now.  It’s hard when I see a new pregnancy announcement each day.  I wish this was an exaggeration, but it’s not.  It almost feels like a malicious taunt.   I’ve never experienced so many pregnant people in my life.  Everyone but me. 

The other day I was in Target, purchasing items for 3 separate baby showers.  I started to cry in one of the aisles and managed to get myself together until I got home, where I really let it go.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m incredibly happy for my friends.  I mean that. Some of them had their own wait just like me, but this waiting period is difficult and the more we try, the harder it gets and the crazier I go.  Case in point, I randomly read up on palm reading and tried to see where the children line was on my palm only to find out that I don’t have any “children” on my children line.   Then I realized that I was being ridiculous and moved on with my life. See, this is literally making me crazy.

The plus side is, I purchased a better ovulation kit then the one I used last month and I’m getting blood work done Monday, so hopefully there will be answers soon.  I’m trying not to feel defeated. I have faith that I will eventually get pregnant.   But again, it’s just hard.

Enough about my life, let’s talk books. 

I did end up finishing Sing, Unburied, Sing and it was absolutely stunning, writing wise.  I was completely swept up in the poetic language and it inspired me as a writer.  I did struggle with the believability that everything took place in such a short span of time.  Was it realistic? Eh, that’s debatable.  The plot itself is where the novel faltered, but the writing was some of the best I’ve ever read.  4 stars.

Next, I read my Book of the Month pick, The Holdout.  I love a good legal thriller and this one definitely read fast and held my interest.  Unfortunately, the author focused so much on moving the plot that he failed to fully develop likeable characters, setting, etc. This was likely due to his script writing background.  My big gripe with this book was that the author tried to tackle too many social topics, which made it seem like he didn’t really cover any at all.  3 stars.

One of my favorite books of the year so far was The Sun Down Motel. This was my first ghost story/horror read and I really enjoyed it! This was the first book this year that I really could not put down. It was suspenseful and thoroughly kept me engaged. Unfortunately, I guessed the twist and had imagined better ones in my head. 4 stars.

I just finished my first nonfiction book this year, When Breath Becomes Air. This book depicted a doctor’s battle with cancer and yes, I cried.  A lot. The book itself was fairly short and focused more on who the doctor was and his medical career and only focused on his cancer in the second half of the book.  I’m not sure what I expected when I picked up the book, but it wasn’t what I had in mind.  3 stars.

I’m currently listening to The Girl With the Louding Voice.  So far, there’s a lot going on in this one.  I’m not quite sure how I feel about it yet.  I’ve started reading Things You Save in a Fire and my book club’s next read is Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine.  I’m excited to get into these next reads! I’m still waiting on my first 5 star read of the year.

Until next time! Happy reading!

Author:

Writer, reader, traveler, singer, painter, life-long learner, chef, foodie, and lover of all things good in life. My husband and two dogs bring me joy. So does red wine and good coffee. My works have been published in HelloGiggles, Thought Catalogue, Elite Daily, and most notably, Atticus Review

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